Eli Ana: Russ Berrie Trolls

Zoe: How do people react when they find out you collect trolls?

Eli Ana: Oh my god, so so many reactions. It’s been more of a thing recently.

Z: Cause you've been out-ed as a troll collector?

E: Yeah. I think I’ve been outing myself more, too. I talk about it more. And so people send me pictures of trolls all the time. My friend sent me a picture of a Jewish troll on Chanukah. It had a little Jewish star.

I recently started dating two new people and one of them came over to my house and one of my housemates was home and somehow or another, trolls came up and my housemate was like, oh you should show them your collection. It was pretty much a first date. I mean we'd been friends and flirting for a year and a half and then we finally were on our first date I showed them all of my trolls and it was just really vulnerable. It was like, you are either going to think I'm a total freak in a really repulsive way, or you are going to find it endearing. 

We had a new person move in a few months ago, and she had a lot of questions about the trolls. 

Z: That’s a big piece of you. 

E: I feel really unsure of how people are going to react, cause I don't know what it looks like from the outside and to me it’s this pretty funny cute thing, but from the outside… I could see how it could be really fucking weird. But they were into it. We had a great date. So I thank the trolls for that.

Then I went on a date with this other person who also came back to my house and was like, what's the deal with all these little creatures everywhere? Cause they are in the bathroom looking at you when you pee. They're in the kitchen. They are kind of everywhere. 

My housemates have mixed feelings about the trolls. They think it’s real creepy and weird and I try to be respectful of their space. I think they think it’s funny for the most part. We had a new person move in a few months ago, and she had a lot of questions about the trolls.

Z: What kind of questions?

E: Just like Why are they everywhere? and What’s the deal? Reasonable questions.

Z: Do you remember where you got your first troll?

E: I don’t think there was ever just one troll. I think they came in herds. My only strong memory of receiving trolls is from my grandpa.

I don’t have a very good memory of my childhood, and trolls are one of the most vivid that I do have. I remember picking up my grandpa from the airport and he brought me trolls in this basket, and the basket was wrapped in plastic, and I just remember like ravaging through to get to the trolls.

Z: And was he pretty special to you?

E: No. We didn’t have a very close relationship.  I was close to my grandparents because my family was close with them, but out of my family I remain the least close to all of my grandparents. 

I would have troll weddings where there was only a bride of one big bride troll and nobody else. I mean there was a community of small trolls, but there was never really a groom.

I was the youngest of three and none of my older sisters wanted to move into the basement once it was too much for all of us to be sharing a room, so I ended up moving to the basement when I was 8 years old...which was like two floors away from everyone else who was sleeping and I was just a tiny child in the basement with my trolls. There was this like green carpet. That was troll city. 

Z: Did you call it that?

E: I don’t know.

Z: Did you think of it that way?

E: I mean, yeah, that was where the trolls were. I played with them wherever but most of my memories of playing with them are down there. I would have troll weddings where there was only a bride of one big bride troll and nobody else. I mean there was a community of small trolls, but there was never really a groom. 

Z: Was she getting married to the community?

E: She was just getting married. It was never really—it was about her, just about her and everybody was there to celebrate her.

Z: Why did you find them so fascinating?

E: Aesthetically, I really liked them and I liked that you could change all their outfits and that all the outfits were for different occasions. They are all pretty silly, too and just weird, like trolls are pretty fucking weird. I liked that it was this thing that...I think they were pretty popular but I didn’t play with them with friends. It was my thing. I was just fascinated by them.

More recently, as I've had a few in my possession over the years, and I didn’t know where the rest of them had gone, and then when we were going through my parents basement, we found all of them and I flipped out, I was like, I’m taking all of these back! I was so excited and just started to see—whether or not I realized this as a kid—these are genderqueer. They don’t have a gender.

Yeah, I really like the ones that have one gem ear piercing, just cause it is so cute and so gay, and that is part of why they've stuck around in my adult life, because they are so gay, and I feel like its really cool to have little gay creatures all around me.

For so long I called one of my sweeties, Troll when she was like running through the woods and she got really offended because people don’t have good associations with trolls. You are the cutest troll running through the woods right now.

Z: Do you think you picked up on the genderqueerness as a kid?

E: I dunno, it’s hard to say. I wasn't a tomboy—whatever that means—but I wasn’t super femmy. I definitely didn’t have the language to think that, but I never gave them a gender, which I think is pretty rare. So many kids toys are so gendered and I would dress them and undress them and they just had these bodies—all bodies.

Z: You are really easily changing identities, cause their clothes really identify…

E: Their gender expression! Totally! They are all completely constantly changing.

Z: Are there specific characteristics that you’re attracted to?

E: Yeah, I really like the ones that have one gem ear piercing, just cause it is so cute and so gay, and that is part of why they've stuck around in my adult life, because they are so gay, and I feel like its really cool to have little gay creatures all around me.

Z: They totally walk this really interesting line of mystical/magical and campy. They could go either way. 

E: They are pretty tacky also. I didn’t like that they are made out of plastic and they are really neon. That is not really my aesthetic now...but the wooden trolls, it’s a whole other thing. They are really gnarly and ugly. I think these trolls are cute. 

Z: What's their hair made out of?

Yeah. Actually I had a talk with this troll cause she was on my herb shelf and I was like, Oh you don’t want to be there and—I've been having more out loud conversations with my trolls lately—and I realized that she wanted to be hanging on the door. 

E: Plastic...it’s pretty gross. The ones that I put in my room are colors that I like more. I mean there's really neon orange and yellow. I think those are the ones I steer clear of, but then there's jewel tone red and turquoise blue. The ones with overalls are also my favorite. 

I think if my aesthetic was different, they'd be more campy. But because my room and my car are pretty earthy, it tones them down. They are the only thing in my room made of plastic.

My housemates stay up a lot later than I do so I was trying to think of a thing to put on my door so they know that I'm sleeping…

{Eli Ana walks to the other side of the room and retrieves a troll.}

…so I hang this on my door. 

Z: Your sleeping troll?

E: Yeah. Actually I had a talk with this troll cause she was on my herb shelf and I was like, Oh you don’t want to be there and—I've been having more out loud conversations with my trolls lately—and I realized that she wanted to be hanging on the door. 

Z: That's awesome. They are ways for you to communicate, too. 

E: She's my new favorite. It’s like a little creepy when she's hanging on here, but I think it’s pretty great. 

Z: She allows you to sleep. 

E: Yeah. She’s very helpful. Part of my identity, I mean it’s not really quantifiable, but I feel very much like a silly queer. I try not to take life too seriously in certain ways, cause there’s a lot of really intense shit and there are a lot of really intense things about being queer and about being alive in the world today and I feel like I spend too much of my life in this really intense space and it’s nice to come home and have these silly creatures surround me. I think they are part of my resilience and my ability to be an activist and community organizer, to have the things in my life that are silly and nurturing and make me laugh and start conversations with people that are different. 

I also feel like it’s important to reclaim trolls cause everyone has such a negative connotation. There’s the whole internet troll thing. Trolling someone is a really shitty thing to do, and I'm like, that's just not fair because trolls are the most mystical magical creatures!

Z: Do you feel like they help to create a world within your room? Are they the lynchpins of the world?

E: They definitely are a glue. They definitely are a thread throughout my room and I think a lot about where they are placed and how they interact with each other and the rest of the place...the reason why I took her off of my shelf is that I'm also really protective of my herbs and like what goes in and around my herbs and I was like, that lady is intense. She has something to say and I don’t want her next to my herbs, cause she is like a little too much. 

Z: So they have individual energies?

E: Yes. 

Z: What other troll energies are there?

E: There's one that is like baby troll, that is just like a tender tiny baby punk troll, cause it kind of has a mullet that I want to nurture and then there are some that are real freaky. The ones with long ears are the freaky ones, and then there are some that are trying to fit in with the rest of the world, but they don’t fit in. 

Z: In the troll world?

E: The human world. They have human outfits and are worker bees but they're like really trying to make it, but they are still trolls at heart. 

Z: That’s so sad.

E: Yeah. Most of them are pretty silly and happy in their own ways, but sometimes I get mad at them when they are staring at me. 

Z: Woah.

E: I'm just like you have to stop. Too much. 

Z: Do you turn them?

{Eli laughs.}

E: Yeah. And the ones in the bathroom I’ve been thinking, I might have to move these. It’s starting to be a little too much. Not that they are too much, but just how I've placed them. I feel like the bathroom relies on them a lot because I hate that bathroom. It’s horrible, but when I put the trolls in there it felt better...the trolls help. But, that’s a lot of pressure. 

Z: Is it a completed collection?

E: For me this is not an active collection that I'm trying to put a lot of time into. I’m greedy with them. I kind of just expect them to be this thing that feeds me. 

At this point the ones that I have are collectables, cause they are not making them anymore. So if I wanted more of the same trolls it'd be really expensive. 

These are all Russ trolls because Russ Berrie makes them

E: I found out the other day that one of my friends also collects trolls. I freaked out. She collects wooden trolls. 

Z: So she has the ones you don’t like? Did you tell her that?

E: Yeah. 

E: But it was still pretty exciting. She's another Doula. She's my co-Doula and I know her pretty well...so I really freaked out when she said that and it was like at—we'd just been at a birth and went back to her parents to sleep and I saw these trolls on her bookshelf and I was like, what the fuck is this?

Z: You were drawn to each other and you both collect trolls? I love that. It’s like finding out you were in the same dance class in first grade. 

E: It made me feel really close to her. We have a date to share troll collections.

Z: Maybe she's going to win you over with her troll collection.

E: I know. I was jus thinking that. But, I also feel like it’s important to reclaim trolls cause everyone has such a negative connotation. There’s the whole internet troll thing. Trolling someone is a really shitty thing to do, and I'm like, that's just not fair because trolls are the most mystical magical creatures!

Did you see Box Trolls? I went with my sweetie. We went at like 6pm on a Friday night and it was us and a bunch of kids. The box trolls aren’t like my trolls, but they're trolls and it was my most favorite movie. I was so excited. And they’re making a movie about trolls, about my trolls. 

Eli is a witch, a jewish anti-zionist organizer, a gender queer, and a troll lover. They like to prance around the woods admiring magical plants and animals (like trolls). From a young age they have appreciated trolls for their fabulous freaky looks: the gem belly buttons, ridiculous colorful hair, and genuine smirks.